I f you heard it in the beauty parlor, it might be fodder for this year’s Red Garter Review, which opened at LBWCC’s Dixon Center last night to great laughs.

It was the Andalusia Junior Woman’s Club’s 30th annual show, themed “Sweet Home Alabama.”

“If you don’t know what the heck you’re doing, somebody else sure does,” co-host Hannah Merrell said as she introduced a skit set in “JayKay’s Beauty Salon” where Amy Dugger, a la Olympia Dukakis in “Steel Magnolias” pitched plans for her mayoral campaign. Tara Dalton’s character said good hair is important for a campaign.

“The DA, well he has those long, luscious locks. Judge Short has good hair. And Judge McGuire. Well, he used to have hair,” she said.

If District Attorney Walt Merrell ever had any secrets, his wife and co-host told them, including the story of when she fell in love with him.

“You know he was a long snapper in high school,” she said of an early date at the University of Montevallo. “I guess he was trying to impress me, because he told me to get way back and he’d snap the ball to me.”

She said that, like Andalusia, Montevallo is a small place where people know each other’s business.

“And everybody knew Walt went commando,” she said.

Just before the man who would be her husband snapped the ball, she said, the crotch of his khaki shorts ripped.

“It was love at first sight,” she said.

Tickets to the show, which runs again at 7 tonight, Sat., March 9, are $12 for general admission and $15 for reserved seating. Tickets are available at the door or from Ansley Place or Harold’s.