Looking for love? There’s a site for that

Published 12:05am Wednesday, November 6, 2013

At first I thought it was a joke when I heard…

“God created the world in seven days. On the eighth day He created the farmer … and the farmer was lonely.”

Well, a lonely farmer needs a mate. So as images of fields and cows played on the screen, the commercial described how farming types could meet online.

“Wow, I guess there is a dating site for everyone,” I said to my husband.

He was not interested, but it got me thinking about internet dating. So, I decided to research the subject and I learned a lot.

First, there is a list of the 10 best dating websites. I’m not sure who decided they were the best, but here is the list.

Match.com – for casual dates and deep relationships. Well that sounded O.K.

Zoosk – also for casual dates/deep relationships and it offers a phone app.

eHarmony – only for deep relationships and says it accounts for 2 percent of U.S. marriages.

ChristianMingle.com – site for devout Christian singles. So un-devout, on-the-fence Christians don’t apply.

OurTime.com – casual dates/deep relationships. One of many for older singles who don’t want to go looking for love in all the wrong places.

chemistry.com – deep relationships. Never heard of this one and I hope it doesn’t require blood work to check compatibility.

BlackPeopleMeet.com – casual dates/deep relationships. Here we start to narrow the playing field in the dating game.

JDate.com – casual dates and deep relationships for Jewish people. Wonder what you do if you are a black, Jewish farmer who is over the age of 50.

AdultFriendFinder.com – for hookups only. This site is not about “making friends.” (Devout Christians or people who value their health might want to steer clear of this one.)

SeniorPeopleMeet.com – casual dates/deep relationships. This site is last on the list and is strictly for folks past the age of 60. No surprise there is a higher ratio of women users.

Then I discovered lesser-known sites. Here is my list of favorites.

SeaCaptain.com – your mistress may be the sea but you can’t snuggle with a wave.

MyLovelyParent.com – endorsed by kids who want to get their parents out of their hair by finding them a love interest.

Darwin Dating – this site allows only “beautiful” people (and with Photoshop we can all airbrush ourselves to beautiful.)

WomenBehindBars.com – this one is self-explanatory. For those who want to live dangerously but with a locked cell to insure the danger is contained.

FindYourFaceMate.com – when you want to date the mirror. Guess it is a site for narcissistic people.

Oh, the list goes on and on. There is a site for ugly people, one for older women looking for younger men and younger men looking for older women. A site is out there for folks with sexually transmitted diseases (they probably visited that hookup site first). Clowns have a dating site, so do golfers, as well as lovers of the gothic, cat lovers, horse lovers, tall people, bikers, millionaires, singles with food allergies, liberals, conservatives, vegans (they could date the food allergy folks), hippies, virgins, fitness freaks…

Surely, there is money in owning a dating site. Therefore, I am starting one too.

I’m calling it Anythinggoes.com. It is for single farmer-hippie-conservatives of all races with tattoos over the age of 50 (the farmers not the tattoos) who love collard greens, Jesus, (or Buddha) like to dance (not the just the square kind) desire a deep relationship (or a casual hookup behind the barn).

However, if you don’t find your soul mate on my site, I suggest trying the method used for years – go to a bar. I hear The Four Sons in Opp is still open and you don’t have to register to check out the available singles (might want to do a little extra checking to make sure that “single” status is accurate.)

And what did I take away from my research? Thank goodness I‘m happily married.

 

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