Unfortunately, the plan works

Published 12:00 am Wednesday, August 28, 2002

Hello. Let me introduce myself. My name is Evil. Yes, that is my proper name, easy one to remember, don't you think.

Sorry, I can't give you an address. Let's just say home is where I happen to hang my hat, and I'm always on the move. Here today, there tomorrow. I suppose I'm a citizen of the universe.

I don't like to brag, but I'm successful, kind of a super achiever in my field of endeavor.

In fact, my success came rather easily. Early on I discovered delegating was the only way to accomplish goals. So, as a goal-oriented creature, I developed a plan I think works like a charm.

Oh, you want to know how I do it, what I use to make things go my way. Sure, I'll share my secret. What will it hurt to let you in on how I operate? It's been my experience that knowing about Evil doesn't do much to stop it anyway.

It's simple really. I call it divide and conquer, and here is how it works

I start by separating humans from each other – make them forget they are connected by a common spirit. And there are so many ways to do this. There is race, sex, sexual orientation, religion, culture, nationality, social status, economic status, ability, disability … The list of possibilities is endless.

Once I separate humans, I cleverly convince each group that the other group is causing its problems. Or, I get this group of people to think that another group is wrong, or wicked or the enemy or dumb, or different. There are a lot of ways this angle works. And people fall for it, at least most of them do, and that is all I need.

After separation is working, I plant seeds of mistrust and hatred. Brilliant move, if I say so myself.

You don't get to know those you hate and mistrust. That means you never understand what is in their hearts and minds. If you don't understand, it is much easier to pass judgment.

Ah, and that is part of the plan – judgment.

Oh it is such a good idea. You get people to pass judgment on each other. Have them decide they know how others should live or think or believe. Get different segments of society doing this and, bang, you get action.

I've been extremely lucky with delegating in this area. There are humans who are always willing to step up and stir the negative emotions of their brothers and sisters. Individuals, even some labeled as "good people," in their particular group, are also willing to do my bidding, ready to attack what they see as bad or unacceptable. When this takes place, a big part of the work is done for me.

Oh yes, when this happens, humans take evil to new heights, or I should say new depths, considering the subject. In fact, they forget each other's humanity all together. They get so caught up in prejudice or self righteousness; they completely lose sight of the spirit living in each human.

That is when my plan is fully operational. It's the moment "conquer" kicks in. You have seen it at work time and again.

It worked when a federal building blew up in Oklahoma City and when bombs exploded in the streets of Bethlehem. Oh yes, it was my design being carried out when a father was killed in Northern Ireland and when an innocent child died in Afghanistan.

I was behind the scenes when a man was beaten, tied to a fence and left for dead because of his sexual preference. And it was my plan at work when a mother was shot to death in Palestine because one group believed she collaborated with a neighboring group they called the enemy.

I was there when the color of a man's skin led to his demise, and when one human's belief in a different God meant his death. It was me behind every single war.

And on a glorious fall morning, I was in control as three planes flew into buildings and as one crashed in a deserted field.

Yes, I'm Evil and I'm always glad to make a new acquaintance.

Now that you have met me what do you think of my divide and conquer plan? I'd say it's Evil's masterpiece, but I hate to toot my own horn.

All I know is it works better than I imagined, and I don't see any reason I won't continue to be wildly successful.

Do you?