Holiday madness not over yet

Published 12:00 am Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Now that Thanksgiving is over, and we can't stand the sight of turkey anymore, we can drag out the Christmas decorations and see which ones survived from last year.

This time of the year is always so fast-paced and hectic, and everyone seems to be in a big hurry. Many of us will begin our Christmas shopping pretty soon, unless you're one of those who gets in line at 4:30 a.m. the Friday after Thanksgiving and risks getting trampled by a frenzied throng of shoppers who are so afraid of missing a sale. One TV news report showed two shoppers rolling around on the floor after they got into a fight either over a toy or a place in line. Now that's what I call Christmas spirit.

Actually, the whole scene was the absolute epitome of the absurd. It was wretchedness at its worst-or its height.

The Friday after Thanksgiving is now referred to as &#8220Black Friday,” where stores have sales that bring in enough revenue to put them in the &#8220black,” or in a profit range. When I was a server at Golden Corral Steakhouse, where Russell Stover is now located, we referred to the Wednesday before Thanksgiving as &#8220Black Wednesday” because it was so unbelievably busy. On this particular Wednesday before Thanksgiving, the madness of the holidays would have been exactly what Jerry Springer looks for.

I was waiting on tables and trying to do twenty things at one time like any good waitress does. A young couple was sitting at one of my tables. In my haste, I thought I could pour water for one customer without watching the glass and wait on another customer at the same time. Well, you know what happened next.

The water ran over that glass, went across the table and traveled across that young man's lap and right down his leg. Horrified, I offered a thousand apologies and began trying to dry his pants with my towel. I was so worried about his wet pants that I had no idea there was a storm brewing right next to him in the form of his fianc\u00E9e.

With fire shooting from her eyes and a sharpness in her voice that could cut metal, she snatched that towel out of my hands and shouted, &#8220I'll do that!” It wasn't until I looked up and saw him beet-red and trying not to grin from ear to ear that I realized I was about to unwittingly get myself in the middle of a catfight.

I began mumbling something about being so sorry for spilling the water and for getting his pants wet, but, for whatever reason, she had lost her appetite and was ready to go. The last thing I wanted to do was run off a customer, especially one who was in a huff, but it was too late. The damage had already been done. Needless to say, that young woman never looked at me the same way again, and nothing I could do would ever make things right. Such was my early introduction to the holiday season madness.

By the way, Samson is looking to make some spending money for Christmas this year, so, if any of you need a ferocious, mouse-trapping, burglar-catching, terrorist-locating 21-pound tomcat, then………..

Oh, wait…….

You probably remember the bird-who-flew-into-the-house-through-the-hole-in-the-duct-tape-covering-the-den-window fiasco.

Sorry, Sam. I tried.

Regina Grayson is a reporter with the Greenville Advocate.

She can be reached at 334-383-9302, ext. 126 or via e-mail at