Technologically advanced? I don#039;t think so

Published 12:00 am Monday, July 3, 2006

If you happen to be driving down South Forest Avenue, and you notice a huge hole in the Luverne Journal office window and a computer lying on the sidewalk, by all means, just keep on driving.

It is absolutely amazing to me how we, as a society, have allowed ourselves to become addicted to, controlled by, and, in many cases, completely reliant upon, a piece of technology that, at times, can have a very uncooperative mind of its own.

Good grief, when I was in college, one of our classes actually took a field trip to the AUM library to see THE new computer. That's right. You heard me. THE new computer. All of us had an assignment given to us so we would actually have to use the monstrosity.

Now, ask me how old I'm feeling right about nowŠ..

Then again, please don't.

However, today, our dependency on computers is astronomical, especially in the workplace. They can decide to take a day off, and since you weren't given the same day off, well, there you go.

The same can be said for cell phones.

After I moved to Luverne (by the way, I'm happy to report that all of the boxes are gone nowŠ), I had to get a new cell phone. Well, after the young gentlemen down at Radio Shack were able to gain their composure after seeing my 1990s cell phone dinosaur I was still carrying (happily, I might add), they were more than happy to assist me in getting the latest cell phone with the most up-to-date technology and devices.

Oh, yes. This baby can take pictures, send email, tell me what time it is anywhere in the world, and it has a flashlight.

A flashlight?

My biggest problem with my new cell phone for the first entire week, however, was trying to figure out how to turn it on and off.

Now, that's just too sad.

Actually, I've decided that I need to go see Danny Rolling down at Radio Shack and see if he will get me that &#8220Look, I need more minutes so I can talk to my momma” phone plan. That's all I really care about anyway.

Heck, I bet that cell phone knows where Jimmy Hoffa is buried, or it could at least use some tracking device to find him.

Speaking of tracking devices, I'm sure someone, somewhere has created a tracking device for missing TV remote controls. Because you know that it is just absolutely impossible for us to actually have to peel ourselves from the couch or recliner and actually physically change the channel. Why, that would be unthinkable. We would rather search the house inside and out for the remote control and wind up missing our TV program than actually have to get up and change the channel ourselves.

After discussing the crashes and burns, the ups and downs and the &#8220can't live without it” opinions of new-age technology with Samson, my 21-pound tomcat, he doesn't understand what all the fuss is about. After all, he loves his personalized ring-tone on his cell phoneŠIt plays &#8220The Stray Cat Strut.”

Regina Grayson is managing editor of The Luverne Journal. She can be reached at 335-3541 or by email,: