Water cannon silly purchase for police

Published 11:59 pm Tuesday, February 10, 2009

I don’t know about you, but I have slept like a baby since learning that Andalusia has received an $8.000 grant from the U.S. Homeland Security Department for a water cannon. I can’t tell you how much sleep I have lost since 9/11 worrying about the fact that there is not one, I repeat, not one water cannon in the whole county. Peace at last.

The last time I looked, water cannons were used for riot/crowd control and the last time I remember them being used in the whole state of Alabama, was in the 1960s to prevent people from petitioning for their civil rights, which are guaranteed by our Constitution. Please correct me if I am wrong.

Will someone please tell us the purpose of having such a thing in our city arsenal that would make us one iota safer than we are now, or is it akin to my friend who hated cheese? When asked why he would spend good gas money to go to receive “free” government cheese, when he wouldn’t even eat it, his retort was “everyone else is.” There comes a time when we should “just say no to government handouts.” And, if someone in Andalusia requested this thing, what were they thinking?

Now back to the purpose of having a water cannon; are we anticipating an invasion of Andalusia? If so, what or who? The only invasions of the Southeast that I am aware of in the last 60 years are: 1. cattle egrets, 2. fire ants, 3. armadillos, 4. coyotes, 5. illegal immigrants, 6. Yankees 7. kudzu, and 8. the invasion of Georgia by Russia, none of which could have been stopped by the threat of a water cannon in Andalusia, Alabama.

Now, as far as riots; I don’t remember “nary a one” since I was born here some 67 years ago. I remember a few minor cattle stampedes, an occasional bull breaking down a fence because of raging hormones and me getting a ticket for driving the wrong way around the square when I was a kid. I have racked my brain and, nope, still cannot come up with a single riot.

Maybe there is a subtle plan here that the ordinary rocket scientist just cannot fathom. Maybe it is going to be used as a fountain in the town square. Just point it strait up and “let ’er rip”. Maybe our one and only skyscraper needs a power wash and what we have now just won’t reach the top. Maybe it will assist in washing away all the manure associated with the likes of such things as water cannons for Andalusia. If it is ever used, we will open the city up to much litigation, so why have one?

That’s my opinion but I am open to a logical explanation other than, “we are doing it because everyone else is.” Lastly, what do things like this tell us about the state of our homeland and its security? Where did we go wrong? Is this ridiculous or what?

Kylan Lewis


Editor’s note: The “water cannon” purchased for the police department is not for crowd control, but is a device used to detonate improvised explosive devices.