It’ll be 2012, even if I’m asleep

Published 12:00 am Wednesday, December 28, 2011

New Year’s Eve is approaching and I face a challenge. Can I stay awake to see 2012 arrive?

Now that might not seem like a huge challenge to most folks but for me it’s a big one since my eyes start trying to close before the clock strikes 10 p.m. Keeping them open until midnight or beyond is going to take some planning and is something I haven‘t managed to do in several years. (If you are a younger person reading this, you may not grasp the problem/challenge, but some day you will I promise).

When the sun sets, there is this law my body obeys that says when butt sits down, and legs go up, eyes immediately shut. So, I must stay off the couch and out of anything close to a prone position if I plan to ring out the old and ring in the new.

And no toasting the year’s arrival ahead of time with anything containing even a hint of alcohol. The other law my body obeys — alcohol intake equals sleep output. One good glass of something and I head for dreamland faster than a freshly opened bottle of champagne goes flat.

Television is another no, no. As soon as I sit down to watch something, if it’s later than about 8 p.m., I’m gone before the first commercial break. Reading is also out. Five minutes into reading, even if it is a great book, my eyes blur, my head tilts backwards and strange, sleepy gurgling sounds come from my mouth.

So since I cannot sit, lie down, toast with the bubbly, watch television or read, if I want to witness the beginning of 2012, here is my New Year’s Eve celebration plan.

Beginning about 6 p.m., — I consume large amounts of something containing caffeine. When I’m good and wired from the caffeine, I put on loud music and do what I do that passes for dancing. The other folks in my house will possibly not enjoy that so the dancing ceases quickly probably no later than 8 p.m.

To keep from coming down from my caffeine/dancing induced high, I bring on the sugar. A couple of pieces of sweet potato pie, a few candy bars and a cup of hot chocolate ought to do it. That should work until at least 9:30.

With another two plus hours to go, I move into the final part of my stay-awake-until-midnight plan, the trampoline — my daughter’s indoor Christmas-gift trampoline or as the advertisement called it, an exercise rebounder for both children and adults.

Filled with caffeine, sugar and bogey fever, I jump or rebound until the countdown to the New Year begins. What a party. Here comes the New Year.

10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1… Who am I kidding?

When that big ball drops in New York City and the moon pie falls in Alabama, I’ll most likely be gurgling and dreaming. However, even if I don’t manage to see it, the New Year will arrive right on time and I hope it is a good year for us all.

Who knows? Maybe if I start planning early, I’ll be awake at midnight 12 months from now, to see 2012 end and 2013 arrive, but I ain‘t counting on it.