Crazy doesn’t live here, but he calls

Published 12:00 am Wednesday, April 25, 2012

I read about the ongoing court case Tuesday where a New York man dressed as his dead mother to cash her Social Security checks.

Jurors heard testimony yesterday in the case about the man, who even went so far as to visit the DMV for a new license in the get-up.

The story said Thomas Prusik-Parkin is accused of collecting more than $115,000 of his 77-year-old mother Irene Prusik’s government benefits and rent subsidies for six years following her death in 2003.

I just had to shake my head in amazement, but if you think crazy doesn’t live here, you’d be wrong – big time.

Everybody’s got a Great Aunt Bertha who’s a little on the cuckoo side, but I promise you it doesn’t touch some of the ones we get at The Star-News.

My most recent call was from a man who claimed his girlfriend, who lived in Andalusia, had been beaten, stabbed 17 times by her abusive ex-boyfriend and air lifted to a Mobile hospital. She supposedly died last Tuesday from her injuries. He called me on Thursday. Now, I’m not the greatest reporter in the world, but I don’t think I would have missed that one – which, after apologies on his loss, is exactly what I informed him. Police had no record of the incident; however, the man was convinced it happened here. A later call from one of his college professors, who doubted his student’s excuse for missing class, confirmed it for me. Yep, you guessed it. Crazy; however, it could be lazy. You decide.

We also have another one who calls periodically about seeing people on the moon, captured for proof by the camera on his cell phone.

There are also the resident conspiracy theorists – those, I must say, have been known to have some of the best stories. I won’t share them with you, lest it gives credence to their ramblings, but suffice to say, they are good.

Then there are the folks seen in one’s day-to-day ramblings.

Take lunch Tuesday at a popular eatery. I’d seen him around before – a large man in his late 40s or so. His ensemble for the day was a white polo shirt, shorts, a lady’s watch and large diamond ring…on his pinkie.

You know, I read Mark Childress’ Crazy in Alabama as PeeJoe’s crazy aunt, Lucille, kills her abusive husband, then totes his head everywhere she goes in a black hat box and looks forward to the future Hollywood promises. It has a happy ending, as Lucille’s sentence is reduced to probation on the condition she seeks psychiatric care.

Sometimes, I’m not sure there’s enough care in the world to fix all the craziness running around these parts.