TV commercials will make you wonder

Published 12:00 am Wednesday, October 28, 2015

So there are things I wonder about at odd moments. I’ll see something and the questions that pop into my head are, well, different.

I heard Ellen Degeneres say she notices stuff between things that no one else seems to see and that‘s what makes her funny. That is what I do too, but it may make me more odd than funny.

For example, when a commercial for a new drug comes on, I notice they play catchy music. It’s usually something suited to the age group they think the drug benefits.

It occurred to me they do this to distract viewers from hearing the warnings they issue about side effects. In fact, I think the music gets louder during that part of the commercial.

People are moving around on the screen doing fun stuff while a great song from the 1960s blares. Meanwhile a voice in the background is advising you to seek medical help if your eyes explode or your head falls off after taking this wonder drug.

See, that’s the kind of stuff that pops into my head.

Another example is leggings. Have you noticed most leggings have patterns that run horizontally? They have big horizontal zigzags or rows of wild shapes running east to west — or west to east depending on where you look.

So, my question — who decided this was the direction for patterns on leggings. It has come to my attention that many American women are doing their part to, as the song says, bring booty back. Do you know how horizontal lines look running across that part of our anatomy? Those zigs and zags wave in interesting ways when we sachet around without a long blouse to cover the subject.

Yep, that is where my head goes.

Then there are videos and photos you see on social media — what’s up with that? How did anyone know the kid, or the old man or the funny woman was going to do whatever they did at the exact moment they were filming or snapping a picture?

And, if whatever they did is something dangerous, why are they still filming and snapping instead of giving the person a helping hand? Does anyone else ever wonder about this or is it just me?

Now we come to the most recent thing I noticed. It was another commercial. This time it was one for mascara.

Well, you would not know it’s for a product you use on your eyes from the way it starts. A picture flashes on the screen of a lovely young woman wearing a black bra. Her hands delightfully cup the part of the body the bra contains.

The announcer says something about a “push-up.” Getting a push up, having a push up — I didn’t really catch what he said.

Then the scene flips to this lovely young woman applying mascara to her unusually thick eyelashes. (Again, we hear something about push up.) Her eyes are beautiful and her lashes exceptionally “full and flawless,” but lord have mercy she bats those eyes hard.

Oh, but that’s not the best part of this advertising moment. At the end, for only a few seconds, you see the same perfect woman now wearing a black teddy-looking getup surrounded by a bunch of other gorgeous women wearing black sexy underwear.

What is this group doing? Comparing mascara-laden eyes — since it’s a mascara commercial. Nope, they are dancing to the sound of the first young woman singing into her hairbrush.

Here is where my head went and it came out my mouth to my husband who was also enjoying the mascara show.

“Well, I’m glad they showed what happens after we put on our mascara,” I said. “Women love to sing into their hairbrushes while they bat their eyes. The secret is out.”

Yep, there are things I wonder about at odd moments. But, enough of that. It’s time to put on my mascara and I can’t find my darn hairbrush…


Nancy Blackmon is a former newspaper editor and a yoga teacher.