Flowers’ funny stories entertain Opp Rotarians
Published 12:00 am Thursday, September 1, 2016
Political columnist and commentator Steve Flowers regaled members of the Opp Rotary Club with some of his best stories Wednesday.
Flowers, the author of “Of Goats and Governors,” became interested in politics as an adolescent while serving as a page in the Alabama House of Representatives.
They don’t make political characters like they used to, he said.
Flowers first met then-Gov. George Wallace as a page during Wallace’s first term as governor. Wallace’s knack for remembering names and faces was legendary, he said.
“It was like God decided to make the perfect politician,” Flowers said. “He knew people from all corners of the state. If he met you, he could bump into you five years later, call you by your first name and know who you were kin to. He was the best politician I’ve ever seen. Not the best statesman, but the best in retail politics.”
Flowers recounted stories about Wallace, Gov. Big Jim Folsom, and U.S. Sen. Howell Heflin.
Flowers said Wallace and Folsom always carried the rural areas, but not the large metro areas, with the exception of Mobile.
“Wallace carried Mobile for some reason,” he said. “That’s why Birmingham was the last part of the state to get the interstate system. Wallace believed in helping those that helped him.”
He said Folsom’s folksy humor and acknowledgement of his weaknesses won him favor with the populace. When there were rumors about his drinking and womanizing, Folsom made a public statement.
“He said, ‘Folks they set a trap for ol’ Big Jim. And if you set a trap for Big Jim with whiskey and women, you’re gone catch him every time.”
Flowers said he sent that story to Gov. Robert Bentley and told him he should use it, after Bentley was accused of having problems of his own.
“I like old Bentley,” Flowers said. “My observation is that he fell in love at 74 years old and let his girlfriend run the state.
“The truth is, we really ain’t got to have a governor,” Flowers said. “Jim Folsom was drunk; Wallace was on pain pills his last term; Fob James was duck hunting all the time; and Guy Hunt and Siegelman went to jail. At least Bentley shows up.”
Flowers said he was signing books in Bessemer when someone stopped by to get a book. Flowers asked him what he thought about Bentley.
“The man said, ‘That ain’t nothing. My preacher’s on the Ashley Madison list.”
Of Hefllin, Flowers said, “He had the best repertoire of jokes. He was a folksy guy, too.”
Once, Heflin was with then Sen. John Warner, who had been briefly married to Elizabeth Taylor, at a NATO hearing.
After Warner talked too long, it was Heflin’s turn. He said to the commanders, “I’m gonna tell y’all like Liz Taylor said to Sen. Warner. I ain’t gonna keep you very long.’
Flowers was the guest of Opp Rotarian Chuck Burgess. The pair met at Boys’ State as teens and were Sigma Nu fraternity brothers at the University of Alabama.