Don’t eat chicken from road? We needed that

Published 1:28 am Wednesday, January 9, 2019

Sometimes in the midst of news stories that make us want to shout in anger and frustration at the person speaking to us on screen, cry in disappointment at what we are hearing or wonder what is going to become of the human race, I just plain get tired.

You know the kinds of stories I’m talking about, the anxiety and questions they cause. For example, if we get that wall built on one border, how are we going to build one around the ocean and over the sky? If illegal immigrants learn to paddle boats and board planes, we are in trouble.

Oh the mourning and questions in our state today. How and why did Bear, the patron saint of Alabama football, allow the drowning of his Tide in the National Championship Game? Prayers going up.

Then there is the story about the deputy who shot a barking “aggressive” Chihuahua. The deputy was terminated “after it was determined there were ‘numerous opportunities to de-escalate the incident.’” Aggressive Chihuahua, armed deputy — what is wrong with humans.

Of course, some of the stories make me not only wonder about how folks think, but also make me laugh in amazement at what they do. On Saturday, there was an 18-wheeler crash on an Alabama highway. While that is surely a tragic thing, it is what happened after the crash that got all the attention on the news.

Apparently, one of the trucks carried a load of chicken nuggets/tenders that went flying all over the highway after the wreck. Now, I’ve asked myself what I would do if I happened up on such an accident. Nowhere in my mind did I find the thought, “Why I’d stop in the middle of the road and try to grab myself some of those nuggets.”

However, that is exactly what popped into the heads of a significant number of drivers who apparently thought, “Hey, free chicken tenders,” and proceeded to stop and grab some. Hearing that brought up images of Jed and Granny stopping to scoop up ingredients for “Road-Kill Stew” on their way to Beverly Hills.

Unfortunately, the rush for the chicken caused a big traffic problem. In fact, it caused so much of a problem, the Cherokee County Emergency Management Agency issued a public service announcement.

Reading comments from the Cherokee EMA is when my laughter started.

“The Cherokee County Sheriff’s Office is asking that no one try to stop and get the chicken tenders that were spilled from the 18-wheeler accident last night… You’re creating a traffic hazard! It’s a crime to impede the flow of traffic.

“Those cases have been on the ground for over 24 hours and are unsafe to consume.”

It went on to say anyone who stopped to pick them up would face charges.

I can hear the conversation taking place in jail.

“What are you in for?”

“They got me on an assault charge. You?”

“Oh, they arrested me for grabbing chicken tenders off the highway.”

Pretty sure felon one is going to decide felon two is nuts and leave him or her alone.

Fearing people would ignore them, officials closed the highway on the side with the tempting tenders. It wasn’t opened until Monday afternoon.

It’s not known how many stopped to get their share of the free tenders, whether they identified any of them or charged anyone. Although, it might be difficult to track down offenders, police could check local emergency rooms for people coming with nugget induced food poisoning.

Yes, sometimes the world seems crazy. The news is nothing but chaos, frustration and anxiety. It makes me tired and sometimes a little sad.

Oh, but then in the midst of those news stories comes a break from the chaos, a reprieve from the anxiousness and sadness.

Thankfully, when we needed it most, the good Lord sent us an 18-wheeler full of chicken tenders. Or maybe it was The Bear; he knew we’d need something to smile about after that game.

Nancy Blackmon is a former newspaper editor and a yoga teacher.